BY CLAUDE ANDERSON
I CAME ACROSS A BIT I WROTE CALLED "AN EASTER MESSAGE" WAY BACK IN MARCH OF 1966.
I HAVE TO TELL YOU THE WAY IT CAME ABOUT. I WAS WORKING DAY SHIFT WATCH DEPUTY WHEN THE LT. & WATCH SGT BECAME UPSET WITH EACH OTHER. NOTHING SERIOUS, THE CAPTAIN TOLD THE LT ABOUT SOME VEHICLES HE WANTED TO TRANSPORT VIP'S AND THE MESSAGE GOT GARBLED ENROUTE TO THE UTILITY DEPUTY. SINCE THE DISCUSSION TOOK PLACE BY MY DESK I COULD'NT HELP BUT OVERHEAR.
LATER I AGREED WITH THE SGT THAT THE MESSAGE COULD BE TAKEN SEVERAL WAY'S. (IN THE AIR FORCE WE HAD A SAYING THAT IF AN ORDER CAN BE MISUNDERSTOOD, IT WILL BE) THINKING THIS OVER I THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY...FOUR PEOPLE UPSET BECAUSE OF NOT BEING CLEAR. I JUST COULD NOT PASS UP THIS SITUATION TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING OUTRAGEOUS.
THINKING OF THE OLD CHILDRENS BIRTHDAY PARTY GAME WHERE ONE KID IS TOLD A STORY AND HE REPEATS IT TO THE SECOND KID WHO TELLS IT TO A THIRD ETC. AT THE END THE LAST KID REPEATS THE STORY AND IT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE TO THE ORIGINAL.
(WITH EASTER A WEEK AWAY) I BEGAN TYPING AND I KNOW I POUNDED IT OUT IN LESS THAN 15 MINUTES. I JUST COMPOSED IT AS I TYPED. MY IDEA WAS TO GIVE IT JUST TO THE SGT. (WHO MIGHT GET A LAUGH AND IT WOULD HIT THE TRASH PILE) I GAVE IT TO THE SGT...HE THEN SHOWS IT TO THE LT, WHO GAVE IT TO THE CAPTAIN,
(ARRUDA) WHO SHOWS IT TO THE INSPECTOR (I THINK MONTGOMERY) WHO GAVE IT TO THE ACADEMY STAFF. THE STAFF CALLS ME SAYING IT'S A GREAT EXAMPLE TO SHOW NEW SGT'S AND SUCH, HOW IMPORTANT HAVING THINGS WRITTEN DOWN ARE, ALSO INSTRUCTING LOWER RANKS TO SPEAK UP IF GIVEN ORDERS CONFUSING OR IMPOSSIBLE TO CARRY OUT. THE IDEA IS TO HAVE THINKING DEPUTIES NOT FOLLOWERS OF BLIND OBEDIENCE. THEY THEN ASKED IF I COULD SUBMIT SEVERAL MORE TO THEM...I DID... WITH ONE HAVING THE CAPTAIN CALL OUT THE DEPUTIES IN THE PARKING LOT TO VIEW AN ECLIPSE OF THE SUN AND ANOTHER HAVING THE CAPTAIN CONDUCT A UNIFORM INSPECTION IN THE BRIEFING ROOM. (SUDDENLY I'M SOME KIND OF HERO JUST FOR COMING UP WITH SOMETHING SO FAR FETCHED AND STUPID.) SEVERAL YEARS LATER, THE SAN FRANCISCO PD CONTACTED ME AND REQUESTED PERMISSION TO RUN IT IN THEIR TRAINING MANUAL. I WONDER HOW MANY OLD TIMERS REMEMBER THESE HANGING ON THE BULLETIN BOARD?
AH, FIRESTONE...IMAGINE GETTING PAID FOR HAVING ONE LAUGH AFTER ANOTHER!
* or How's that again?
THE STATION COMMANDER TO THE LT
As you know this Sunday is Easter. It's a
time for us as peace officers to reflect
that almost two thousand years ago our
savior was crucified. It will be my policy
this weekend to give as many deputies
time off as I possibly can, so they can
be united with their families for Easter.
THE LT. TO THE WATCH SGT.
Since Sunday is Easter Sunday and seeing
that our Savior was crucified two thousand
years ago, our Captain will give many
deputies time off. They can reflect on this,
while they are united with their families
Over the weekend.
THE WATCH SGT. TO THE WATCH DEPUTY
Easter will be Sunday by order of the
Captain. Since he had hoped to be saved
2000 years ago, many deputies are going
to be given time off for that crucifixion.
This we hope, will unite many families
to reflect that this could have been
THE WATCH DEPUTY TO THE LADY DEPUTY
Easter will be on a Sunday this year, because
for almost 2,000 years we have had our
deputies crucified. The families of these
deputies will be given time off and we
should all unite to save this policy.
THE LADY DEPUTY THEN POSTS
THIS MEMO IN THE BRIEFING ROOM
ATTENTION ALL DEPUTIES.
Two thousand years ago was Easter.
As a result, the Captain will be crucified
this Sunday. Time off will be given to
deputies to celebrate this event.
Many families will be united in knowing
he won't be saved.